


Happy Valentime's Day!

by woshuwoo



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, and he uses it solely for his sexy boring little ghost couple, beetlejuice has one (1) romantic bone in his body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:48:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22728664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woshuwoo/pseuds/woshuwoo
Summary: The Maitland's are struggling with their very first postmortem Valentine's day and who better than to lend a hand than the least romantic demon they can think of?
Relationships: Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice/Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland
Comments: 15
Kudos: 171





	Happy Valentime's Day!

“Goooooooood morning, Deetz family!” 

With a flash of light Beetlejuice appeared in the Deetz’s kitchen, arms flung out above his head and a wicked grin on his grimy face. “How are my favorite, most boring little humans doing today? I, for one, am-” His words trailed off as he took in the scene around him. The kitchen was surprisingly empty save for the vague shape of Lydia slumped over a bowl of cereal at the breakfast bar. 

“Hi, Beetlejuice.” She mumbled around a mouthful of sugary slop, barely glancing up at him.

“Uhh,” Beetlejuice leaned against the counter, cocking his head at her, ”not that your company isn’t fulfilling, Lyds, but where the hell is everyone?” The lack of life in the kitchen was unusual, on a school day no less. In the morning, the kitchen was the heart of the Deetz home, always bustling with breakfast making and Delia’s shrieks about being late for yoga.

Lydia snorted, shoving her bangs out of her face and rolling her eyes at him. “Dad and Delia went out for a breakfast date cuz dad has to work late tonight. Adam and Barbara are still upstairs and I’m not keen on interrupting whatever they’re getting up to today.”

“Sounds gross. Why are the parentals even bothering with breakfast, it’s not date night?” Beetlejuice had the family’s schedule down to a tee. Delia and Charles had date night every Wednesday, no exceptions. Lydia stayed late at school on Mondays and Thursdays, for photography club and DND club respectively. Delia was out on the town until at least 3 in the afternoon most days. It was more fun to cause a ruckus when everyone was home, so he liked to keep in mind when it was best to bother his little family.

Lydia raised an eyebrow at him and he was hit with her most intense “are you friggin serious?” look. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope!” He replied, popping the p. “Educate me, oh wise one.”

Lydia scoffed at him, but he could see the smile she tried to hide. “It’s Valentine’s Day, dummy. The world's way of capitalizing off love and making everyone pay to tell their spouse they love them.”

“Sounds dumb.” 

“It is. Have you seriously not heard of it before?” She seemed disbelieving.

“When have I ever paid attention to the weird shit you breathers like to do? If it’s not about sex or food I’m out.” He replied, popping a finger in his mouth to chew on the nail.

Lydia made a face that said “ew gross I hate you”. “Uh that’s kinda exactly what it is, though, Juice. You buy a bunch of chocolate and roses and bone down in the name of capitalism.”

“Bleck! First of all, never say ‘bone down’ to me again. Second of all, I am suddenly way more interested in this holiday. What did you say Adds and Babs were doing today?”

“I didn’t, weirdo. Also gross.” She shoved her chair away from the bar and hopped down to the floor. “I gotta head out. Don’t set the house on fire, okay?” She set her bowl in the sink and grabbed her bag from the floor.

“No promises!” He called after her, hearing her laugh as the front door slammed. With the house suddenly silent he sighed, leaning back until his feet slipped off the ground and he floated gently in the middle of the kitchen. With the Maitlands stuck here, the house was never truly empty, but the eerie silence made it feel that way. It was as if all the life the undead pair brought in had been sucked away. 

Whatever those bozos were doing up in the attic, it could wait. He was bored! He pushed himself up, phasing through the first few floors of the house until he reached the staircase to the attic. Gliding to the top, he paused before throwing the door open.

“Shh. It’s okay, dear.” Adam’s voice filtered through the doorway and Beetlejuice heard what sounded suspiciously like muffled crying. “I know. I’m sorry, Barbara. It’s hard for me, too. We’ve never… I mean we always-” Adam got choked up near the end of his words, voice cracking.

While he had never been the best at social skills, it was becoming increasingly obvious that his presence would not be a welcome sight to the Maitlands this morning. Even so, he struggled for a moment with wanting to throw open the door and jump onto their bed just to get them to stop being so damn… sad. What was even going on? Had something happened?

“I thought I’d be okay. I mean, we got through Christmas and Hanukkah just fine but… today was something we only ever did together. It was special. And now we can’t even get out of the house, or have dinner, or-” Barbara sighed. “I guess I’m just… not as prepared to recognize what we lost as I thought I’d be.”

“Me neither.” Adam agreed.

What they lost? Oh… Valentine’s Day must have been a big deal for the couple and this was their first year being dead on it. He didn’t quite understand what they were feeling, he’d never even bothered with the holiday in the first place, but he knew if they were staying up in the attic crying together then it must be pretty damn painful. Beetlejuice chewed on his lip in thought. As much as he loved to bother the Maitland’s, he never actually wanted them to be hurting. He made his way back down the steps, still gazing at the door, a plan already forming in his mind.  
If they couldn’t go out for Valentine’s day, he’d just have to bring it to them.

-

Back downstairs a few hours later, Beetlejuice wrinkled his nose at his reflection in the hallway mirror. The pink pinstripe of his suit looked ridiculous against his green hair and pale skin. The roses he’d tried to summon were wilted at best. His attempt at researching this dumb holiday proved that it was possibly the least ghost friendly one out there, all about dates and chocolate and live things like flowers and- he shuddered- love.

Adam and Barb couldn’t eat anything- let alone chocolate, the chances of them getting past the front door for dinner and a movie were slim to none, and it’s not like they could dress up and give each other gifts with how little access to the world they had.

The house was still empty and it didn’t seem as if the two had even come downstairs while he’d been gone. This was really hitting them hard, Beetlejuice realized. Doubt began to creep into his mind. Was this totally out of line? Would they think he was mocking them? Or that this was stupid? Beetlejuice groaned, clenching his fists. Shut up! Those two were suckers for anything sweet. And this was about as close to sweet as he could manage. Steeling himself, he stepped away from the mirror and stood in front of the bottom of the stairs, taking a deep breath.

“Aaaadaammmmmmm! Baaaabbbbbbsss! Come quick I need some help down here!” The screech of his voice filtered up the stairs and almost immediately he heard a bang from the top floor. Whoops. He must have surprised them.

He gave them a minute to come down, straightening his suit and adjusting his hold on the bouquet in his hands. The weirdos had never taken to floating, prefering to walk down the stairs instead. He put on his best grin, fighting the stupid butterflys in his stomach as he waited.

When Barbara appeared at the top of the staircase, she froze in her tracks. “Oh my…” She gasped, hand coming to her mouth. Adam’s face appeared over her shoulder and his eyes widened to the size of saucers.

“HAPPY VALENTIME’S DAY!” Beetlejuice sang, thrusting the flowers out in front of him. The pair blinked at him, saying nothing. “Uh… I noticed you two were kinda down in the dumps about the whole being dead thing today so I thought I’d… surprise ya.”

When a few more moments of silence passed, Beetlejuice began to fidget. Had he royally fucked this up somehow? Were they gonna shout at him? Angry and confused about why he thought he could do this to them?

“Um… Are y’all gonna say anything? Cuz I’m getting a little nervous down here- oof!” He was cut off by the combined weight of both ghosts barreling down the stairs to hug him. Heat flamed in his cheeks as Barbara giggled against his neck. “Woah! Calm down you two y-you’re crushing the roses!”

They pulled back in tandem and Beetlejuice noticed the tears welling up in both of their eyes. “Beetlejuice, this is so… sweet.” Barbara whispered.

“And unexpected.” Adam tacked on.

Barbara squeezed his wrist and Beetlejuice felt the telltale warmth running through him that meant his hair was about to start blushing. Aw dammit.

He held out the bouquet, avoiding both of their gazes. “Here, ya weirdos. These are for you. And uh… I got something else too.”

“Oh Beetlejuice, you didn’t have to do all of this.” Adam crowed, looking at him like he’d hung the damn moon and stars in the sky. No one- especially not the Maitlands- had ever looked at him like that.

“I- Well I just- Lydia told me what today was and I thought you two lovebug lameo’s would be into it… and I know it sucks b-being stuck up in the attic all the time so I…” He swallowed hard, staring at his shoes. “Oh whatever. C’mere I got something to show ya.”

He turned on his heel, stomping to the open back door and stopping on the other side of the threshold. The ghosts paused on the other side, staring at him. 

“BJ, honey, you know we can’t…” Barbara started.

“No I know but I… I tried something so just… just trust me, okay? Come on out.”

Adam and Barbara exchanged a look of disbelief before Barbara oh so carefully took the first step out onto the porch. When her foot touched the ground and she wasn’t whisked away to Saturn, she moved forward with a bit more confidence. “What in the world?” She muttered as both of her feet touched ground outside. 

“Oh my-” Adam whispered, still inside. Barbara turned back to him, beaming, and reached a hand out to her husband. He took hold of it gently and let her pull him forward into the cool, crisp February air.

With both of them outside, they stared at each other for a moment in disbelief. Then Adam, overwhelmed with joy, let out a shout and grabbed his wife, gathering her up in his arms and spinning her. They were both laughing and crying at the same time, tears running down into their smiles as Beetlejuice watched from the other side of the porch. Their pure, unadulterated joy pulled on his heart in a way he hadn’t felt since he’d been revived.  
As they settled down, Barbara turned to him. “How?” She asked, hair wild from the wind and the way Adam had run his hands through it as they laughed. “How is this possible?”

“I went searching for the foundation of the floors from when you two… bit it and it turns out there’s still quite a bit down in the basement. Delia hasn’t really wanted to go down there, yaknow? I wasn’t quite sure if this would work so god am I glad you two are still standing but uh… I put down a bunch of the boards over top of the new porch so that when you came out here you were technically still touching the old house.” He gestured to the ground and for the first time the Maitland’s noticed how uneven the surface was. “It’s not perfect but…” He trailed off, not meeting their eyes.

“Beetlejuice, it’s amazing.” Adam said softly, stepping forward to hold the demons hands gently in his own.

“It is.” Barbara supported. She put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing at the fabric of his jacket. “You look quite dashing in this, you know. I think pink may be your color.”

Beetlejuice felt his face flush with color, heat spreading up to his ears.

“Your hair!” Adam gasped, confirming the demon’s suspicions that he wasn’t nearly as good at hiding his emotions as he wanted to be. Adam smirked and said “Barbara’s right. Pink looks nice on you.”

Beetlejuice groaned, shoving them away from him and crossing his arms. “You- I- UGH! Shuddup. I mean it.”

Barbara giggled, reaching down and taking hold of her husband’s hand. 

“You make it so damn hard to be nice to you, yaknow.” Beetlejuice grumbled, snapping his fingers. A picnic blanket and basket appeared on the porch, complete with more rose petals scattered around it and a few candles that flickered in the breeze. “There’s no food in that cuz duh but a bunch of websites said picnics were romantic so…” He trailed off at the downright adoring gazes being fixed on him. “Jeez you two it’s not that big of a deal it’s just-”

“It is to us.” Adam interrupted. “Really. Thank you, Beetlejuice. You don’t know how grateful we are.”

Beetlejuice chewed on his lip, embarrassment making his chest warm. “Don’t mention it. Seriously don't. Can’t have anyone thinking I’m going soft.”

The two just smiled at him, hanging off each other like lovesick teens.

“Well… I’ll guess I’ll leave you to it.” He said awkwardly, stepping backwards towards the door.  
“Wait!” Barbara called after him. He saw her exchange a look with Adam, saw the way the man's eyes widened before lighting up with mischief. He didn’t have time to register much else before they cornered him, arm in arm, against the patio door and- oh lord. 

They both leaned forward and placed matching kisses on each of the demon’s cheeks before pulling away and smiling wickedly at him. “Happy valentine’s day, Beetlejuice.” Barbara said softly.

“Guh.” Beetlejuice responded, pink flushing through him down to his toes.

“We’ll see you tonight, okay?” Adam assured him. 

Beetlejuice barely managed to nod in response before stumbling backwards into the house and slamming the door shut behind him. He fell against the wall next to the door, chest heaving with flustered, useless breaths. 

These two were gonna fucking kill him. Again.


End file.
